“A ‘treat’ is different from a ‘reward,’ which must be justified or earned. A treat is a small pleasure or indulgence that we give to ourselves just because we want it. Treats give us greater vitality, which boosts self-control, which helps us maintain our healthy habits.”—Gretchen Rubin
Imagine eavesdropping, at the airport lounge, on this exchange between a distinguished, elderly English couple:
“Darling, do I like chocolate?”
“Yes, darling, you rather do.”
Man reaches an elegant hand into his waistcoat and withdraws a handsome, gold-flecked bar of dark chocolate. Man breaks an angular piece and places it into her outstretched palm. She slides the piece appreciatively into her mouth. Man breaks off a second—rather larger—piece and raises it to his lips.
There is a contemplative silence as the couple savors the deep, rich tones of the chocolate as it melts down their throats. They look at each other. “That was rather good, darling, wasn’t it?” She doesn’t reply, but her eyes smile back at him.
In our recovery, we may get anxious sometimes about treating ourselves with risky indulgences. We may have had difficulty in the past controlling our appetite for the delicious. By the nature of our addiction and compulsions, some pleasure hit was never enough—we always wanted more and more. What may have started out as an innocent treat, became a wild act of excess. In this protective reaction, however, we can become overly rigid in what we now deny ourselves. Chemical dependence makes it mandatory that we consider alcohol, nicotine and other drugs an absolute no-no. However, that doesn’t mean we have to act like cave-bound ascetics, shunning all earthly delights.
In fact, a wonderful way to stay resilient in our recovery is to keep treating ourselves—on a regular basis—to small, safe delights. These delights comfort us and can protect us from a propensity to over-control our natural impulses.
So, let’s reflect on what kind of safe treat we can indulge in today—just because. Just for the pure pleasure of the experience. Good…
Some movements can feel more like a treat than others. Here’s one that almost always feels like a treat:
Stand relaxed with the feet shoulder-width apart. Place your attention in your stomach (where the attention goes, the energy goes). Take a long, slow, deep inhale that expands your stomach gently, like a balloon. As you perform this inhale, raise your right hand up and across your body until it is opposite your left shoulder.
During the movement, spiral the hand and arm as if screwing in a light bulb. When you reach the top position, your palm will be facing up toward the ceiling. Run your attention from your stomach, up your back, then through the arm and finally into the palm as you complete the movement.
Spiral your palm and arm down back to your right side, as you exhale. Reverse the flow of your attention, so you guide the energy back from the palm to the stomach. Repeat this movement ten times. Or more, if you want. Then switch to your left hand and repeat on the other side.
I savor the delights of the sensuous—and my recovery is the stronger for it.