“Before you make a decision, ask yourself this question: will you regret the results or rejoice in them.”—Rob Liano
How would our traffic work, if all three choices were always only Green? Never Red. Never Yellow. No stop. No slow down. Just go, go, go all the time? The answer of course, is all kinds of pile-ups. Fender-benders if we are fortunate, but horrendous meat-grinders at the other end of the spectrum. Mutilation, disfigurement, disablement, limbs torn off, young and old—their lives shattered forever from one reckless decision.
And yet, only too often in our using days, that was our MO: blistering through the Green and to heck with those silly Yellows and Reds! Those were for the wimps, the straights, the buttoned-up types who were too scared to live life to the max.
Unfortunately, our lack of impulse-control often hurt not only ourselves but had devastating consequences for others. We were accidents waiting to happen. Human wrecking balls. Bad for us—doubly bad for the poor unfortunates who crossed our paths…
When we entered recovery, we suffered much regret and remorse, remembering the consequences of our impulsivity. We came to understand that the impulse for fulfillment—while crucial for our will to live—is an immensely powerful and easily mismanaged force. We, in particular—with our addictive propensity to shoot before we aim—need help regulating our urges.
Our journey in recovery is hence all about caution and safety. On a daily basis, we are released from the perils of chemical consumption. We are careful to release ourselves simultaneously from the perils of impulses run riot. Moderation may appear boring to us initially, however the more moderately we take our moments, the deeper those moments become. Richness happens when we pause to feel it…
Today, let’s reflect for a moment on an urge, an impulse that may be presenting a challenge for us. Will giving in to that urge result in joy or regret? It’s good to remind ourselves that just because we have the impulse, it doesn’t mean we have to act on it. Because, that impulse may not have our final best interests at heart.
Here’s a method we can do now to help release the tension from a needy impulse. We are using the paradoxical notion: to release tension, begin by intensifying the tension. Our method uses a wonderful exercise called the HardStyle Plank:
Kneel on the floor. Then bend your torso forward, placing your hands and forearms on the floor. Make fists. Rotate your fists so they face in toward each other. Scoot your feet back all the way and raise your whole body into a line parallel with the floor.
Tighten your fists as much as you can. Now tighten your abs as hard as possible. Now your butt muscles. Tighten your thighs. Be as tight and as tense as you can manage. Hold this tension-laden position from thirty to sixty seconds, breathing lightly through your nose. If you notice you have relaxed a certain muscle group, show them no mercy and insist they tighten themselves back up!
When your HardStyle Plank becomes more than you can continue to be friendly with, relax and come out of the position. Hopefully, if we ask you now about “that impulse” you will answer “what impulse?” The HardStyle Plank is a fabulous strengthener for your whole body and in particular your core. Plus it doubles as this wonderful impulse-releaser.
I enjoy the calmness that comes upon me, as I choose not to rush in to that beckoning alley.