“Confidentiality is a virtue of the loyal, as loyalty is the virtue of faithfulness.”—Edwin Louis Cole
At one time, we may have lived in a world where we felt it unsafe to share any of our secrets with anyone. Too much was at risk, we thought. We trusted no none—including ourselves. Confidentiality was for the birds… Our loyalty and our faithfulness was only to our drugs of choice, when it came down to it. We would betray others to protect our addiction—and we would assume that our own betrayal was just around the corner.
However, there can be great pain and loneliness when we have no one we trust to confide in. There is great solace in sharing our intimate hopes, fears and dreams with a loyal friend, mentor or loved one. We are finally alone in this world—but the loyal listener can embrace us with their kindness and support, giving us strength to continue when the going gets rough.
Let us not be like an empty chair in an abandoned, dank and dirty cell. Let’s welcome, instead, the round table of confidants, of companions in a living room of soft and colorful beauty.
In our recovery, maintaining confidentiality is vital to our sense of safe growth. To know we have a safe haven in which to share our darkest history and most painful vulnerabilities, is to know we have friends who have our backs. No more knives flashing in the closet, no more excited, whispered betrayals, no more wrenching disloyalties. We create, instead, a climate of trust. Yes, as the frail spirits we all are in certain moments, this trust can sometimes falter, breaches happen. Yet the overwhelming message is one of security, of confidence in each other.
Today, let’s reflect on a secret issue that we may be harboring still—and which could benefit from some friendly light being spilled upon it. And who might we most safely share this with? Great…
Speaking of friendly light, let’s perform an “internal” movement to absorb some healing radiance into our bodies:
Stand, sit or lie in a comfortable position. As you take a long slow inhale, sense that you are drawing this radiant light through every pore of your skin, deep into your body. Before you exhale, feel for any area of your body that seems to be holding some special discomfort. Now, as you exhale, draw all that gathered light, focus on the troubled area, and beam the healing light toward it. Use your attention. The light will follow the direction of your attention. Relax a few moments with your breathing paused. Continue with another nine such breath-and-movement cycles…
I relax into my radiant body and feel content.