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desire

The Object of Our Desire

February 4, 2018 By John Du Cane

“Any object of desire is bound to bring frustration. Any expectation is bound to turn into frustration. Expectation is the beginning of frustration, the very seed.”—Bhagwan Rajneesh

Ah, those shiny objects of desire that we pursued with our brains tucked away beneath the bed… How easily we could be lured by the glittering ball to reach out in expectation that this time, this time would be different. This time, we would embrace and merge with that object of desire and our souls would be satisfied. This time, the yearning would stop. This time, we would reach peace. This time, we would feel utterly fulfilled. This time, this time…

Desire

But the universe was just playing its usual trick on us. The peace rug would be pulled from under us and we would slip back into craving and dissatisfaction. Our life force has been hard-wired to take a beating and keep on ticking. And as practicing addicts, we became masters of the rebound. It didn’t matter how many times we got sucker-punched, we’d just dust ourselves off and charge off in the direction of the next object—an object that was already eyes-a-glitter, knife beneath its cloak… There was no such thing as a lesson learned—just a need to repeat and repeat the same old outcome.

Finally and fortunately, there was some kind of intervention and we were stopped in our tracks. We learned to look inside ourselves. Communion begins inside. There’s no communion to be had with others, while there’s no communion with ourselves. We learned that solace begins with self-acceptance. As we accepted that our desires were simply pulling us away from the simplicity of our center, we relaxed into a new kind of calm. From that calm place, we could transform our desire into love. Instead of attempting to possess objects and people-as-objects, we gave to the world in a spirit of appreciation. The obsess to possess became the sharing of our gentler selves.

Let’s reflect for a minute on a shiny ball we may still be chasing across that receding field. Can we let go right now of that anxious, grasping, wanting, hungry feeling? Can we do that together?

Attentive, intentional breathing is a wonderful way to let go of that anxious impulse when it descends upon us:

Sit comfortably in an upright posture. Close your eyes. Inhale slowly into your stomach. As you inhale through the nose, let the image of your desire ride on that breath deep into your interior. Hold your breath for about ten seconds without straining. Contemplate that object of desire as it sits there within you. Smile at it. Now exhale slowly through the nose, allowing the object of desire to float out and away from you, dissolving as it floats. Repeat this a few times, until you feel complete.

It is so liberating to close my eyes and feel that right now I am complete just as I am.

Filed Under: Spark Your Day Tagged With: breathing, breathing exercise, desire, dissatisfaction, object of desire

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About The Author

John Du Cane CubistStylePortrait316x400
Illustration by Judit Tondora

John Du Cane is a publisher and writer. He is the founder of Dragon Door Publications and is best known for having launched the modern kettlebell movement in 2001 and for the publication of the international bestseller Convict Conditioning. Most recently he collaborated with Debbie Harry on the writing of her New York Times bestselling memoir Face it.

Contact: support@johnducane.com

John Du Cane CubistStylePortrait316x400
Illustration by Judit Tondora

Contact: support@johnducane.com

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Books

The Illustrated Wild Boy by John Du Cane

“An absorbing memoir perfectly complemented by exquisite art.” — Kirkus Reviews

“It’s rare to find a multifaceted short story collection of vignettes whose tales are equally well rooted in artistic, personal, and social observation. The result is a creative and involving work of art, language, and social inspection that will delight readers looking for literary works strong in spiritual and social revelations.” — Midwest Review of Books

Face It Debbie Harry

I spent around eleven months helping Debbie Harry with the writing of her memoir. Check it out and let me know what you think!

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