“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”—Sigmund Freud
The buck stops at our front door. Always has, always will. However, many of us are loath to pick up the buck and acknowledge that yes, we are responsible. Because behind that front door of ours lie one thousand excuses, stacked higgledy-piggledy in every room. The tired excuses, the lame excuses, the righteous excuses, the blaming excuses, the hangdog excuses, the shifty excuses, the aggressive excuses, the tearful excuses, the codependent excuses—they are all children of the same abrogation of responsibility. In fact, go into our backyards and we’ll most likely find the grass strewn with the garbage of our older, rotten reasons for not standing up for what in our souls we knew was right.
One of the more unfortunate consequences of addiction is the consistent flight from—and denial of—responsibility. When our only true loyalty was to our chemical of choice, we became increasingly reluctant to take a stand that might endanger our own self-centered interests. When we entered life, we entered a lush, verdant jungle teaming with promise and potential. Our addiction laid waste to that green fertility. Our landscape of opportunity became a desert of neglect—until just a few bushes of hope remained…
In recovery, we learned to take responsibility for our actions and behaviors. The fact that our addiction could be termed a disease only released us from shame and its attendant crisis of being. Recognizing that we had a disease for which there was help, we were emboldened to seize the opportunity to act—without using the disease as an excuse. We are what we support and align ourselves with. Support a cause? We are that cause. Support a belief? We are that belief. To take responsibility is to declare a set of values. What will we now stand for—and how strongly are we prepared to stand for it? When is silence and avoidance no longer an option?
So, in recovery, we began to take full responsibility for ourselves and our environment. We actively tilled and watered the parched lands. We planted fresh seeds—and tended the shoots until they grew strong. Slowly and with patience and with dedication we grew back what we had formerly allowed to wither away.
Let’s pause for a moment today and think about a perhaps-less-than-perfect position we might have taken in regard to ourselves, a behavior, another person or a cause. Could there be room for some adjustment? If so, then let’s contemplate that adjustment as we perform today’s movement…
Pick up a heavy object, any heavy object, bring it to your chest and squat down with it. Heavy is a relative term. Let the object be heavy for you, but a weight you can manage without injuring yourself in the process. Squat as low as you can go while maintaining good form and posture. Hold the bottom of the squat position for ten to twenty seconds, depending on your strength and determination. See the “hold” of the object and of the position as a “taking of responsibility.” Now, rise back up slowly. Repeat three to five times.
It feels so good to take full and complete responsibility for who I am and what I stand for, today.