“One may be humble out of pride.”—Michel de Montaigne
Pride is such a multi-faceted emotion. Is pride a deadly sin or a healthy virtue? Can we be proud and humble at the same time? Is pride a strength or a weakness? Does pride always precede a fall? Are there shades of pride? Is pride a beautiful, noble thing—or something loathsome, this way crawling? Should we strive to be proud—or flee it like the plague? Can we admire pride in others? Can we admire pride in ourselves?
The peculiar power of pride is that we can answer Yes to every part of every question we just asked about pride. Because the condition of pride runs the gamut from the most benign to the most malignant. Pride can be a magnificent thing. And it can be a nasty, slithering thing… We may lock in on one end of the pride spectrum only to find ourselves torn off and pushed toward the other end. As with so many of our loaded terms, it’s easy to fixate on one of the definitions, at the expense of the full richness of its meanings.
In our using days, we were in quite the pickle when it came to pride. Because really, in those days, our pride was in tatters. Or, more truthfully we had no pride. We would beg, borrow and steal—sometimes even kill—to secure our chemical stash. Pride of any kind was not a factor. At best, we would have a kind of false pride in what bad people we were—but that shallow pride did little to fill the hollow within us.
In early recovery, the spokes of false pride would keep turning for a while—like the wheels on a crashed bike. Some of us felt so worthless, the best we could do was to brag about our addictive excesses. But over time, a new kind of pride grew in us. Pride in our recovery. Pride in the fellowship. Pride in those who had given us a selfless, helping hand. We started to stand tall again—be rightfully proud of the being we had become for today. Proud to be of service. Proud to contribute. Proud to love. Proud to be a friend to others. Proud to be connected.
Once upon a time, we hid ourselves for fear of being seen for who we thought we were. Now, we have the confidence to display ourselves with grace to an appreciative world. The more we display with grace and elegance—like the proud swan—the more we will be naturally appreciated for who we are…
Today then, let’s literally stand tall—in body, mind and spirit:
Stand with your feet at hip width, hips tucked under, feet facing straight ahead. Sink down about three inches. Raise your arms up to mid-chest height, as if hugging a person. Nice, rounded arms, with the palms facing toward your chest. Take care to relax the shoulders. Breathe gently through the nose. Hold this simple (but not easy) position for three to five minutes.
As you continue to hold, some of your muscles may start to complain. The complaint will show up as undue tightening or tension. Visit each complaining muscle in turn, with your attention. While you are visiting with a particular muscle, inhale then exhale into that muscle and imagine it dissolving into liquid. Repeat a couple of times then move on to the next complainer.
Frankly, the longer you hold the better—however it takes quite a while to build up the strength and skill to hold for extended periods. If you feel some tingling, burning or shaking when standing in this position, that is a good thing! An old adage about this method is: “First you shake, then you ache, then you bake.” Fun, right? Enjoy!
I stand tall in myself—and am proud to be me, just as I find myself today.