John Du Cane

recovery

Open and Close, Open and Close, Open and Close…

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“When the highest hear the Tao, they practice it with diligence. When the average hear the Tao, they question it. When the lowest hear the Tao, they scoff at it.”—Lao Tzu

When we were using, we shrouded our game in endless veils of secrecy. In fact, one definition of an addict could be a person who keeps secrets even when there is no need to be secret. Secrecy was our M.O. And there was so much we felt we needed to keep secret. Shame and fear kept us closed—until being closed became our second nature.

In recovery, we were encouraged to swing to the other end of the pendulum—and be open about everything. As the adage in the recovery community would have it: “we’re only as sick as our secrets.”

However, the delicate flower of our burgeoning new spirituality can be damaged when exposed to the harsh winds of judgement and prejudice. We work a spiritual program, but it’s a spiritual program that needs protection. There’s a reason for anonymity and confidentiality. There’s a reason to let trust grow at a natural, careful pace. There is a reason to be on guard against the predatory and abusive forces perhaps eager to destroy our newfound life.

What is sacred to us can be profane to others. What we esteem, others can ridicule. So, let’s be open in moderation—as in all things—and be ready to close like a flower at dusk, when the light begins to darken. Let’s choose to practice our recovery with quiet diligence. There’s plenty of time to shine. And plenty of time to rest unseen in the shadows, as we cultivate our serenity. Let this sensitivity be our strength.

Our natural state is a constant shifting from open to closed and back. We open our breath, we close. We expand our bodies, we contract. We reach out, we pull back. We gaze out, we look within.

Open Close

So, let’s express these sentiments through a few minutes of spontaneous movement. Not so much vibrating and shaking, but rather flowing in a supple easy manner. Our constricted post-apocalyptic selves may feel self-conscious, initially, to move without any particular pattern or discernible order. Just let the body’s inner wisdom take over, with no mentally preconceived steps or forms. Healing will happen from this—if we let it…

I feel the freedom and joy of my body moving to its own inner music.

The Gentle Obsession

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“For an artist, the absence of positive obsessions leads to long periods of blockage, repetitive work that bores the artist himself, and existential ailments of all sorts.”—Eric Maisel

Great stand-up comedians obsess about jokes. They are “jokes waiting to happen”. They are early warning systems for that first faint glint of humor—to be snagged, seized upon and worked up. Until eventually they arrive at the final, tingling pleasure of a joke well told.

The moment that hint of a joke pops into consciousness, they write it down, let it incubate, refine it, test it, practice it, then refine it some more. It’s a never-ending, obsessive love affair with humor creation.

And so it is with all great artists, musicians, writers, creators. Positive obsession is the driving force behind their art work for the ages.

In our using days, our major obsession was our drug of choice, right? Drugs were our life. We were a “drug-buzz waiting to happen”. We were consumed with the never-ending quest for the perfect chemical high. We obsessed over source, supply-chain, stash. We lived in constant fear of loss. Our happiness was measured by the shaking spoonful. We lived to drug… We were married to a relentless beast that had us by the throat…

In recovery, one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to redirect our previous obsession with mood-altering chemicals into a gentle obsession with mood-altering health practices. We can re-write the evolving saga of our bodies into a more poetic and pleasant journey.

If we can but taste again the beauty of our own body’s natural song, we can enjoy the gentler bliss of “health waiting to happen.”

For today, here’s a simple but very powerful breathing practice that can quickly make you feel wonderful:

Sit comfortably with good posture, or lie down and relax. Inhale deeply and quickly through the mouth taking in big gulps of oxygen. Exhale with vigor. Repeat 20 to 30 times. After the final exhale, hold the empty breath for as long as you can—without being too extreme about it. Allow some discomfort—but you know how we can be… easy does it, at a certain point, please!

dragon breathing

Do anywhere from just one set to five sets of this breathing. When you feel complete, close your eyes, relax and let yourself feel your body. Hang out in this place for as long as you want.

I love the blissful feelings that come from simply breathing well.