“If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.”—Fyodor Dostoyevsky
When you look at your naked body in the mirror, do you avert your gaze? When you stare into your soul, do you grimace at what reflects back at you? When you watch your thoughts go tumbling through your noggin, do you sneer in disdain? Or—for all the cracks in your teacup—can you still respect your body, your soul, your mind?
Now, respect—like beauty—is in the eyes of the beholder. We respect what we interpret to respect. Respect means to “look back at”, but that “looking back” is colored by the shifting rainbow of what we value. Respect is an estimation of worth—and that estimation is as individual as the grains of sand on a beach.
We can respect ourselves—but fear ourselves. We can respect others—but fear them. Others can respect us—but fear us. So too, can respect co-exist with hate. We see the worth, we acknowledge the worth, but we don’t necessarily love the person.
Respect for ourselves is hard-earned and easily lost. Respect from others—that’s hard-gained too—and most easily squandered. Respect for others—that takes work too. Respect that comes easy—in any dimension—is respect whose mists will vaporize with the morning sun…
The recovery process is—as much as anything—the process of regaining respect for ourselves—that others may then regain their respect for us. The shards of our shattered self-respect laid all about us. Slowly we picked up the pieces—with the help of our friends, our loved ones and of the fellowship… And we learned that—for all the pain—it’s never too late to earn back our worth as human beings. To earn back respect for ourselves—and to be respected back in turn.
Today, then let’s do an exercise that strengthens simultaneously three parts of our body that can so easily be disrespected: our abs, our butt and our back. Saggy butt? This will fix it. Bent-over back? This will fix it. Flabby abbies? This will fix it.
Lie on your back with your hands clasped on your stomach. Bend your knees so that your feet, at hip-width, are relatively close to your butt. Lift the hips and lower back off the ground, so your head, shoulders and feet support your raised body. Press your hips up as much as you can, tighten your butt muscles and abs for a couple of seconds, relax and lower yourself down slowly. Inhale and hold the breath before you rise up, exhale on the descent. Do 10 repetitions. Or more, if you can manage it.
It feels terrific to respect my own body—by giving it the elegant form it deserves.