“There’s no success like failure and failure’s no success at all.”—Bob Dylan
Success is a leaf blown hither and thither by the gusts of opinion and belief. Success is a shape-shifter. Success is the canny chameleon, changing colors to match the melting rainbow of our desires. Ever-elusive, success mocks our vain attempts to possess her. One fleeting gasp, it seems, before she slides away again, beyond our grasp…
And failure, by its nature, is always yelping at the heels of success. Failure dogs and mocks our hopes. In our dreams, we can feel the fingers of failure falling on our shoulder—just waiting for us to stumble…
For those of us in recovery, it’s important to recognize the elastic relativity of success and failure. And we need to protect ourselves from getting too caught up with either the allure of success or the perceived ignominy of failure. For our sanity and our serenity’s sake, let’s stay modest in what we define as success and failure. Our overarching need is to protect ourselves and our recovery from undue vulnerability. The irony is that our fear of failing can make us more vulnerable—which can put our recovery at further risk.
We have seen how our fear of failure is a brilliant recipe for just one thing: more failure. So, let’s choose to face our fear of failure in the same way we’d eat an elephant—one bite at a time. Let’s face our fear in manageable increments. What we imagined to be a looming shadow of disappointment, then disappears when looked at in the light.
Over time—and taking it gently—we can recalibrate our definitions of success and failure. We can measure success and failure against our core recovery values and priorities. We save what protects us and exalt it. We discard what is destructive and stick it with a warning label.
Let’s take a minute today to reflect on a failure we are fearing for ourselves. Could we be giving this fear some undue power?
The movement for today is an old stand by for strength building—and is also a movement that lends itself to fear of failure. That movement would be the push-up. Any way you cut it, the push-up eventually becomes a toughie… The push-up dares you to succeed—while it waits to envelop you in a cloak of failure. The answer today, is to come close to the precipice of failure without making the leap.
Here’s the success strategy we will employ: determine the number of good-form push-ups you can perform with significant effort. Aim to hit that mark. However, give yourself permission to recalibrate success, by stopping one rep before you would utterly fail to perform that extra rep. Voila, you have succeeded in the teeth of failure…
Kneel on the ground. Place your hands on the floor at shoulder’s width. Raise your knees up and extend your legs until your whole body is in a plank-like posture. Keep your butt in line with your spine. Tighten your abs. Take about two seconds to gently lower yourself down until your chest almost touches the floor. Push up into your original position. Inhale and hold your breath on the way down. Exhale when you push up. If the full push-up is initially too challenging for you, perform the movement while resting on your knees.
It’s exhilarating to face a fear of failure—and win the face-off!
