shaking

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”—Steve Maraboli

It can hurt to cut ties with someone that we were close too—even loved at one time. But now, the relationship has gone south for every reason under the sun. The fruit has rotted beyond saving. Yet we are still holding on, as if the rotten piece of fruit will somehow magically reconstitute itself as fresh and good to eat.

To cling at this point to the decayed relationship can only bring suffering for both partners—the suffering of lies, denial and a general evasion of the truth. So, let’s look at the small immediate hurt of taking an axe to the rope now, rather than extending our bondage into a dis-eased future.

Ironically, we often extend decayed relationships because we are being delusionally “nice.” We worry that we are going to needlessly offend or hurt the other person. Better to just let things slide… Perhaps they will just get the hint—and drop off the vine. We came to realize, though, once we entered recovery, that the gentle let down can simply prolong the pain. And other folk are far more resilient than we often give them credit for. A more respectful approach can often be an amicable chopping of the ties that bind.

In our using days we formed all kinds of ill-fated and toxic relationships. These relationships would hang around us like a miasmic cloud. Getting clean has been a process of washing away the root causes of that unfortunate mist. We handle this at the speed that is safe for us to manage without plunging into counterproductive stress. The good news is that the more we act to clean, the more easily the cleansing unfolds.

Let’s take a moment now to contemplate a relationship that may have overstayed its welcome. Are we ready to invite the guest to leave—with grace and no hard feelings?

“Shaking out the spirits” is a good way to prime the release from a toxic relationship.

Here’s what to do:

Stand in a relaxed posture. Close your eyes. Feel your body for a minute, scanning yourself with your attention from top to toe. As the mood takes you, start to shake your hands, then your arms, then your shoulders, then your torso, then your hips then your legs. Let your head gyrate and bobble of its own accord. There’s no right away, just keep shaking and shaking and shaking some more…

Continue for a few minutes, ten minutes, or even longer—until you feel complete.

I feel a lightness of being as I release from the bonds that hold me down.

“The taboo against full ecstatic expression of the human body is nothing mysterious or difficult to understand. . . . The oppressed find that shaking is a medicine for the suffering of the human spirit. It sets them free and opens the doors to the kingdoms of bliss. The shake comes as a great liberator to people in poverty, powerlessness, and suffering.”—Bradford Keeney

Might we still have some “bad juju” trapped in our unsuspecting flesh? When any of us suffer deep insult, the trauma of it can get trapped deep within the tissues. Those of us in recovery invariably have a heavy history of past trauma—and we are particularly susceptible to its insidious creep when unchecked… That trapped trauma can become a health time bomb if not addressed and released.

It might be a rape. It might be a mugging. It might be a surgery. It might be vicious verbal abuse. It might be a bad beating from a maddened parent. It might be a drug overdose. It can be anything that bludgeons us with a hard hurt.

That trapped trauma is ready to trigger when the button is pushed. Sometimes the trigger causes incremental bouts of micro-dysfunction. But sometimes the trigger causes a veritable firestorm of dysfunction—or the onset of serious disease.

Unlike other animals, most of us humans have lost touch with a remarkably effective, instinctual way to release from our trapped trauma. The birds know how to do it—and do it. The dogs know how to do it—and do it. Gazelles—they do it. You name it—they do it. Except for most of us—we mostly don’t do it.

What’s this forgotten “doing”, then? That would be a Shaking practice. Spontaneous shaking practices are an essential element of many shamanic traditions and other indigenous cultures. From ancient Chinese Qigong shaking, to the ecstatic shaking of the Kalahari bushmen, to the haunting shakes of the Native American tribes, to the Shakers and Quakers—the tradition runs on. However, the healing power of that shaking has not often been well articulated…

“Shaking out the spirits”—as it can be called—helps us to get out of our heads and gently start releasing those traumas within. Because it’s a slow, easy process and nothing is being forced, there is little if any chance of things going awry. We won’t necessarily know what has been released when, but you can trust that the magic is at work.

But most of us cerebral humans are too scared of losing control to shake it all out. We like to harbor our fears and hurts—and keep them stewing away beneath the surface. Out of sight, out of mind perhaps, in the short run—but with a heavy price to pay sooner or later when the jail break happens!

Here’s your Shaking practice for today:

Continue for a few minutes, ten minutes, or even longer—until you feel complete. You may well feel wonderful surges of energy when you stop, a buzzing, a delightful tingling. You have just introduced yourself to the healing power of ecstatic shaking… Enjoy!

It feels so, so, so good to shake away my cares and troubles for the day!

shaking

Cutting The Ties That Bind

The Healthy Shakes